Hubbert's Peak Nitro/Oxy Station's
In our latest missive on Seeking Alpha, Peak What? Hubbert Was Wrong, we posited a wild and outlandish claim much like the peak oil theory. An excerpt...
"There is something of much graver concern than PO, rising population demand, pollution, global warming and the UV leaking through the ozone hole are depleting atmospheric oxygen faster than plant life photosynthesis can replenish it.
Someday all life on Earth will go to take a breath and presto, suffocate simultaneously with a large sucking "whoosh" sound. The peak oxygen theory claims that our oxygen supply will soon run out. Just like PO; peak oxygen is a transparent and obscured process. You get the point."
One reader comments: "I don't see how a reasonable person could conclude that oil will never peak..." to which we Nattered "I don't see how a reasonable person could conclude that oxygen will never peak...".
Enter Peter O'Hardon (yes, really) who asks the following: "How does one play oxygen?" Oh Peter, you have no idea.
The Nattering One muses...
Next to investing in greenhouses or becoming Johnny Appleseed... remember those trendy oxygen bars serving rarefied pure oxygen? We could dig Hubbert up (not literally, just figuratively) and perhaps make him our campaign poster boy for the following postulate:
From industry supplied data and independent bell curve estimations: When in a sealed container, like some pockets in the earth's crust, or in a tubeless tire... from day one, expansion (heating up) and contraction (cooling down) of nitrogen/oxygen molecules causes resource depletion. So, in the case of tires, normal operational use breaks down nitrogen/oxygen molecules.
Non peak, inferior or degraded nitrogen/oxygen causes free radicals to form inside your tires. These free radicals cause oxidation which breaks down the compounds used in tire construction, causing premature sidewall and tread breakdown, resulting in rapid tire wear which poses safety issues and is responsible for excessive tire replacement costs.
To achieve maximum safety and tire life the BS* POETS (Peak Oxygen (rather than Oil) Experts and Theorists Society) recommends (much like a BS* peak oil date change or interval) a tire air change interval of 5000 miles or every six months. (because you never know when the dynamics of nature could make your plans and predictions stale dated).
This is a limited offer, please come to one of our conveniently located Hubbert's Peak Air Centers and we will replace the stale depleted air in your tires with Hubbert's certified BS nitro/oxy (guaranteed to contain > 90 percent pure BS nitro/oxy molecules and < 10 percent BS inerts.)
But wait, that's not all... (and it never is) for only $24.99 (MSRP $29.99) our crack staff of industry certified BS peak oxygen expert theorists and technicians will use Hubbert's certified BS Premium nitro/oxy (guaranteed to contain > 95 percent pure BS nitro/oxy molecules and < 5 percent BS inerts.)
And if you act now before it's too late... (and it never is) for only $29.99 (MSRP $34.95) you will receive Hubbert's certified BS Extra Premium nitro/oxy (guaranteed to contain > 99 percent pure BS nitro/oxy molecules and < 1 percent BS inerts.)
Why wait? You and your loved ones can have peace of mind in only 20 minutes because as Hubbert's theory has proven**; that extra 5 to 9% BS nitro/oxy content will go a long way towards defeating the "hot air principle" involved.
*BS Biodegradable Soluble
** Unscientifically proven through estimations, guesstimates and unrelated economic data.
So who wants to put up some seed money to open a chain of pneumatic air change stations? An exemplar of our potential logo, motto and campaign poster boy:
"There is something of much graver concern than PO, rising population demand, pollution, global warming and the UV leaking through the ozone hole are depleting atmospheric oxygen faster than plant life photosynthesis can replenish it.
Someday all life on Earth will go to take a breath and presto, suffocate simultaneously with a large sucking "whoosh" sound. The peak oxygen theory claims that our oxygen supply will soon run out. Just like PO; peak oxygen is a transparent and obscured process. You get the point."
One reader comments: "I don't see how a reasonable person could conclude that oil will never peak..." to which we Nattered "I don't see how a reasonable person could conclude that oxygen will never peak...".
Enter Peter O'Hardon (yes, really) who asks the following: "How does one play oxygen?" Oh Peter, you have no idea.
The Nattering One muses...
Next to investing in greenhouses or becoming Johnny Appleseed... remember those trendy oxygen bars serving rarefied pure oxygen? We could dig Hubbert up (not literally, just figuratively) and perhaps make him our campaign poster boy for the following postulate:
From industry supplied data and independent bell curve estimations: When in a sealed container, like some pockets in the earth's crust, or in a tubeless tire... from day one, expansion (heating up) and contraction (cooling down) of nitrogen/oxygen molecules causes resource depletion. So, in the case of tires, normal operational use breaks down nitrogen/oxygen molecules.
Non peak, inferior or degraded nitrogen/oxygen causes free radicals to form inside your tires. These free radicals cause oxidation which breaks down the compounds used in tire construction, causing premature sidewall and tread breakdown, resulting in rapid tire wear which poses safety issues and is responsible for excessive tire replacement costs.
To achieve maximum safety and tire life the BS* POETS (Peak Oxygen (rather than Oil) Experts and Theorists Society) recommends (much like a BS* peak oil date change or interval) a tire air change interval of 5000 miles or every six months. (because you never know when the dynamics of nature could make your plans and predictions stale dated).
This is a limited offer, please come to one of our conveniently located Hubbert's Peak Air Centers and we will replace the stale depleted air in your tires with Hubbert's certified BS nitro/oxy (guaranteed to contain > 90 percent pure BS nitro/oxy molecules and < 10 percent BS inerts.)
But wait, that's not all... (and it never is) for only $24.99 (MSRP $29.99) our crack staff of industry certified BS peak oxygen expert theorists and technicians will use Hubbert's certified BS Premium nitro/oxy (guaranteed to contain > 95 percent pure BS nitro/oxy molecules and < 5 percent BS inerts.)
And if you act now before it's too late... (and it never is) for only $29.99 (MSRP $34.95) you will receive Hubbert's certified BS Extra Premium nitro/oxy (guaranteed to contain > 99 percent pure BS nitro/oxy molecules and < 1 percent BS inerts.)
Why wait? You and your loved ones can have peace of mind in only 20 minutes because as Hubbert's theory has proven**; that extra 5 to 9% BS nitro/oxy content will go a long way towards defeating the "hot air principle" involved.
*BS Biodegradable Soluble
** Unscientifically proven through estimations, guesstimates and unrelated economic data.
So who wants to put up some seed money to open a chain of pneumatic air change stations? An exemplar of our potential logo, motto and campaign poster boy:
PEAK
Hubbert says: "Fresh nitro/oxy is at its BS peak, old nitro/oxy is depleted." So you better believe it or else!!
Apropos quotes from B.S. POET and the UNCF:
"Our ignorance is as vast as our failure to use common sense and our minds."
"A Mind is a Terrible Thing To Waste"
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