The Ministry of Information
The Nattering One commented: "DLMO,
You can't be Secretary of Everything, but you said you wanted to "dismantle every friggin department". Next best thing... a redesign and reorg. How about a dept consolidating Government Infrastructure Architecture? Would you like to be the Secretary of the GIA?"
DLMO comments: "Well - since we now have a benevolent King now, how bout we change titles to Minister as well? I'll take it and I want to be Minister of Funny Walks as well. Oh and Minister of Plunge Protection Ministry.
Moreover, I have had some second thoughts and now am offishally a Zombie! So ... when I get rid of the 12 cabinet level departments, I will (via the King's King's Order (no more executive orders as well)) create 279 Ministries.
Thank you."
The Nattering One responds with great homage to the film Brazil:
DLMO,
Funny thing you should mention Ministries. It's nice to be King, even for a day, but due to recent activities in Tunisia, for the time being I've taken over Information Retrieval at the Ministry of Information. So your accepting the Minister of GIA and you want to be Minister of Funny Walks and Minister of Plunge Protection as well? And you claim to be a Zombie convert? Well...
First, did you file a ZCON-2015 in triplicate? If not your conversion to Zombie status cannot be officially recognized by the State. Second, did you file MFW-001-2015 and MPP-001-2015 applications for your other candidacies with Information Collection?
And since those forms have not been processed, I cannot tell you if you have filed those forms, I'm not privy. If you need that kind of classified information you must file the appropriate forms with Information Collection, once collected Information Transit will route to Information Processing, which will process for Information Dispersal. Damn-it man, get it straight, this is Information Retrieval and we only retrieve or extract bloody information here. Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. But where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?
By the way, this is your receipt for your comments... and this is my receipt for your receipt in triplicate. Bloody paperwork! This old system of ours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b/6. And you want to create 279 new ministries? Good God Man! You know DLMO, I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone. Now they got the whole country sectioned off, you can't make a move without a form.
For the interim we can do this, I see your appointment for Minister of GIA has been confirmed by the King. I wonder if he's been using Aspartame again? And there you have it, and there you are, your own number on your very own door. And behind that door, your very own office! Welcome to the team, DLMO-03-22-2015. Keep calm and carry on.
Please be aware, the Ministry of Information is very scrupulous about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send you the appropriate forms.
Best Regards,
Archibald Buttle
Data Cobbler
Information Retrieval
Flow of Funds Section
Ministry of Information
Our Motto: Keep Calm and Carry On
You can't be Secretary of Everything, but you said you wanted to "dismantle every friggin department". Next best thing... a redesign and reorg. How about a dept consolidating Government Infrastructure Architecture? Would you like to be the Secretary of the GIA?"
DLMO comments: "Well - since we now have a benevolent King now, how bout we change titles to Minister as well? I'll take it and I want to be Minister of Funny Walks as well. Oh and Minister of Plunge Protection Ministry.
Moreover, I have had some second thoughts and now am offishally a Zombie! So ... when I get rid of the 12 cabinet level departments, I will (via the King's King's Order (no more executive orders as well)) create 279 Ministries.
Thank you."
The Nattering One responds with great homage to the film Brazil:
DLMO,
Funny thing you should mention Ministries. It's nice to be King, even for a day, but due to recent activities in Tunisia, for the time being I've taken over Information Retrieval at the Ministry of Information. So your accepting the Minister of GIA and you want to be Minister of Funny Walks and Minister of Plunge Protection as well? And you claim to be a Zombie convert? Well...
First, did you file a ZCON-2015 in triplicate? If not your conversion to Zombie status cannot be officially recognized by the State. Second, did you file MFW-001-2015 and MPP-001-2015 applications for your other candidacies with Information Collection?
And since those forms have not been processed, I cannot tell you if you have filed those forms, I'm not privy. If you need that kind of classified information you must file the appropriate forms with Information Collection, once collected Information Transit will route to Information Processing, which will process for Information Dispersal. Damn-it man, get it straight, this is Information Retrieval and we only retrieve or extract bloody information here. Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. But where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?
By the way, this is your receipt for your comments... and this is my receipt for your receipt in triplicate. Bloody paperwork! This old system of ours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b/6. And you want to create 279 new ministries? Good God Man! You know DLMO, I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone. Now they got the whole country sectioned off, you can't make a move without a form.
For the interim we can do this, I see your appointment for Minister of GIA has been confirmed by the King. I wonder if he's been using Aspartame again? And there you have it, and there you are, your own number on your very own door. And behind that door, your very own office! Welcome to the team, DLMO-03-22-2015. Keep calm and carry on.
Please be aware, the Ministry of Information is very scrupulous about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send you the appropriate forms.
Best Regards,
Archibald Buttle
Data Cobbler
Information Retrieval
Flow of Funds Section
Ministry of Information
Our Motto: Keep Calm and Carry On
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