2017 NFL Week 1 & 2 Picks Against The Spread
Rather than Thursday's in the Loo, it's time for NFL Football picks in the toilet.... putting that content down loading time to good use?
RESULTS Week 1 Picks - Our pick is the team with the number, winners highlighted. A push is a win. Originally posted at our friend 153972's Seeking Alpha blog.
KC +8 42 @ 27 NE - too many points on a playoff team take the road dog - LOCK
NYJ 12 @ 21 BUF -6.5 - the Yets arent a good team
ATL 23 @ 17 CHI +7 - Birds outside of their indoor coop? +7 no respect for home team.
JAX +6 29 @ 7 HOU - Tom Savage, Really? I'm better. Watson needs to step up fast.
PHI -1 30 @ 17 WAS - Close div game, home and away, road dog.
ARZ 23 @ 35 DET +2 - Birds out of desert coop, Motor City Kitties tough as dome dog.
OAK +2.5 26 @ 16 TEN - Da Raiders are real, road dog - LOCK
TB -2.5 @ MIA - Irma cancels Bucs Filet O Fish.
BAL +3 20 @ 0 CIN - Ravens +3? Div road dog - LOCK
PIT 21 @ 18 CLE +10 - Browns suck but hate div rival Steelers, double digits at home?
IND +3.5 6 @ 49 LAR - Luck and points?, Rams suck cept vs Frisco.
SEA 9 @ 17 GB -2.5 - Pack at home, Rodgers strafes, Squabs got no ground game
CAR -5 23 @ 3 SF - Why is this line so low? Phony Niners suck, Hoyer? - LOCK
NYG 3 @ 19 DAL -4 - Pokes will not lose to Giants a 3rd straight time.
NO +3 19 @ 29 MIN - Peterson shows Vikes they f-ed up royal.
LAC +4.5 21 @ 24 DEN - I'm better than Buncos QB's, they need Kaepernick
How did we do? Unconscious with locks 4-0; overall 13-2. Our picks were influenced by BAL - not blood alcohol level but, blind ass luck.
That IS my highlight for the year, trust me its all downhill, fading below the Mendoza line from here. BTW, 2016 regular season, the best internet "expert" ATS was 58%.
Week 2 Picks - Our pick is the team with the number. As always, I reserve the right to take the advance or opening line, and make changes well in advance of kickoffs. 1st pick posted at our friend's blog.
HOU +5.5 @ CIN - In home openers; Texans waxed, Ben-gals blanked; Watson starts at QB for Hou? -5.5 way too much to pay for Clueless Lewis & Co vs playoff team - LOCK
TEN @ JAC +2 - Jags D vs Texans:10 sacks; 4 TO; All alone in 1st place? No respect home dog post IRMA crowd. Home team 6 straight W's; Jags L 4 of 5 at home. Could be long day for Mariota?
CLE @ BAL -7.5 - On road EA Poes blanked Ben-gals; Brownies hate traitor Browns; beat double digit spread at home vs div rival Riveter's; Dr. Lechter says, but not today.
BUF +7.5 @ CAR - Bison stampeded Yets; Cats clawed Niners; this week vs a real NFL team? Buf's won't stampede Cats for 190 yds. Cam has a shoulder problem, missing open receivers, cross country trek, big road dog.
NE @ NO +6.5 - Aint's lost at dome; now come home; Pat's porked at home gave up 42 pts? Peterson 6-18yds?? Both D's are porous; Belichik 0-2? Never. Over 56 is a LOCK, a lot of home points.
ARZ @ IND +7.5 - Cards choked in Kitty dome; 4 TO's; RB Johnson out; O-line plagued; 2nd week on road. Luck-less Dolts humbled 46-9 in LA; QB Lord of Rings Tolzien? Beef Brissett surprise? Cross country trek? Big home dog with rebound factor.
PHI @ KC -5.5 - On road, Chef's pounded Pats; Philly spanked Skins. Eagles won't be able to run, get 4 TO's or hold KC to 64 rush yds, Chef's ground Eagles - LOCK
MIN @ PIT -5.5 - Vikes trampled defenseless Aint's; Riveter's slacked vs Brownies with 7 D sacks and only 35 rush yds? Too much Steel Curtain while Bell and Ben wake up.
CHI @ TB -6 - Irma blew off Bucs Filet-o-Fish; Bears hugged Falcons; another team that needs Kaepernick; QB Glennon really? Home Buc's with post Irma crowd gladly welcomes him back.
MIA +4 @ LAC - Bolts scared Buncos late; allowed 140 rushing and lack ground game only 64 yds. Cutler Fish open as road dog. We'll take the swimmers D, ball control and get points.
NYJ @ OAK -13.5 - Da Raiders pinned Tuxedos on road; Yet's stampeded by herd 190 yds while rushing for 38. A mismatch, Beast mode runs wild while Carr bombing of Jet's occurs. - LOCK
WAS +3 @ LAR - Post Eagle strafing, Skins hit road. Rams butted Un-Lucky Dolts, 0-10 3rd down, 3 TO's. Way up in that lofty 1st place perch alone? This week a real NFL team with a real QB shows up and we get points. - LOCK
DAL -1.5 @ DEN - Pokes penned GI-ants; Buncos squeaked past Bolts. Anderson and Charles will be checked by Dal-D; flying son of Buzzi will not be held down like the line, cheap, cheap, we hear the bird of happiness? Give the points.
SF @ SEA -13 - Squawks held to 3FG's in GB; SF held to 1 at home. Look for Seahags to return home and exercise their offensive muscle vs feeble Niners, another mismatch and blow out - LOCK
GB +3 @ ATL - GB held Squawks in check 40 min TOP; Dirty Birds escaped Bear hug, head to dome; rematch of NFC Champ; Mr. Rodgers revenge; take the points.
DET @ NYG -3 - GI-Ants poked in D on National TV; Kitties clawed Cards late; Book of Eli comes home; Kats leave dome sweet dome. Stafford highest paid player in 2017? Give the points as Gotham D kindly reminds him why he has only 3 winning seasons and no playoff wins.
As this was a reminder of the time involved, I do not believe I will do this every week. Despite the Week One anomaly, I am sure that by Tues, we will have been better off to have flipped a coin and Out.
Resources
Spread courtesy of VegasInsider, OddsShark, Covers, and the Westgate Advance Line here and here.
One can find the advance line for every week of the season, going back to Week 2, courtesy of John Morgan at PatsFan.
As we enjoy his commentary, humor and interesting observations, Walter Cherepinsky at NESN has weekly in depth analysis of each game.
Stats and ATS (Against The Spread) courtesy of the indispensable Pro Football Reference
RESULTS Week 1 Picks - Our pick is the team with the number, winners highlighted. A push is a win. Originally posted at our friend 153972's Seeking Alpha blog.
KC +8 42 @ 27 NE - too many points on a playoff team take the road dog - LOCK
NYJ 12 @ 21 BUF -6.5 - the Yets arent a good team
ATL 23 @ 17 CHI +7 - Birds outside of their indoor coop? +7 no respect for home team.
JAX +6 29 @ 7 HOU - Tom Savage, Really? I'm better. Watson needs to step up fast.
PHI -1 30 @ 17 WAS - Close div game, home and away, road dog.
ARZ 23 @ 35 DET +2 - Birds out of desert coop, Motor City Kitties tough as dome dog.
OAK +2.5 26 @ 16 TEN - Da Raiders are real, road dog - LOCK
TB -2.5 @ MIA - Irma cancels Bucs Filet O Fish.
BAL +3 20 @ 0 CIN - Ravens +3? Div road dog - LOCK
PIT 21 @ 18 CLE +10 - Browns suck but hate div rival Steelers, double digits at home?
IND +3.5 6 @ 49 LAR - Luck and points?, Rams suck cept vs Frisco.
SEA 9 @ 17 GB -2.5 - Pack at home, Rodgers strafes, Squabs got no ground game
CAR -5 23 @ 3 SF - Why is this line so low? Phony Niners suck, Hoyer? - LOCK
NYG 3 @ 19 DAL -4 - Pokes will not lose to Giants a 3rd straight time.
NO +3 19 @ 29 MIN - Peterson shows Vikes they f-ed up royal.
LAC +4.5 21 @ 24 DEN - I'm better than Buncos QB's, they need Kaepernick
How did we do? Unconscious with locks 4-0; overall 13-2. Our picks were influenced by BAL - not blood alcohol level but, blind ass luck.
That IS my highlight for the year, trust me its all downhill, fading below the Mendoza line from here. BTW, 2016 regular season, the best internet "expert" ATS was 58%.
Week 2 Picks - Our pick is the team with the number. As always, I reserve the right to take the advance or opening line, and make changes well in advance of kickoffs. 1st pick posted at our friend's blog.
HOU +5.5 @ CIN - In home openers; Texans waxed, Ben-gals blanked; Watson starts at QB for Hou? -5.5 way too much to pay for Clueless Lewis & Co vs playoff team - LOCK
TEN @ JAC +2 - Jags D vs Texans:10 sacks; 4 TO; All alone in 1st place? No respect home dog post IRMA crowd. Home team 6 straight W's; Jags L 4 of 5 at home. Could be long day for Mariota?
CLE @ BAL -7.5 - On road EA Poes blanked Ben-gals; Brownies hate traitor Browns; beat double digit spread at home vs div rival Riveter's; Dr. Lechter says, but not today.
BUF +7.5 @ CAR - Bison stampeded Yets; Cats clawed Niners; this week vs a real NFL team? Buf's won't stampede Cats for 190 yds. Cam has a shoulder problem, missing open receivers, cross country trek, big road dog.
NE @ NO +6.5 - Aint's lost at dome; now come home; Pat's porked at home gave up 42 pts? Peterson 6-18yds?? Both D's are porous; Belichik 0-2? Never. Over 56 is a LOCK, a lot of home points.
ARZ @ IND +7.5 - Cards choked in Kitty dome; 4 TO's; RB Johnson out; O-line plagued; 2nd week on road. Luck-less Dolts humbled 46-9 in LA; QB Lord of Rings Tolzien? Beef Brissett surprise? Cross country trek? Big home dog with rebound factor.
PHI @ KC -5.5 - On road, Chef's pounded Pats; Philly spanked Skins. Eagles won't be able to run, get 4 TO's or hold KC to 64 rush yds, Chef's ground Eagles - LOCK
MIN @ PIT -5.5 - Vikes trampled defenseless Aint's; Riveter's slacked vs Brownies with 7 D sacks and only 35 rush yds? Too much Steel Curtain while Bell and Ben wake up.
CHI @ TB -6 - Irma blew off Bucs Filet-o-Fish; Bears hugged Falcons; another team that needs Kaepernick; QB Glennon really? Home Buc's with post Irma crowd gladly welcomes him back.
MIA +4 @ LAC - Bolts scared Buncos late; allowed 140 rushing and lack ground game only 64 yds. Cutler Fish open as road dog. We'll take the swimmers D, ball control and get points.
NYJ @ OAK -13.5 - Da Raiders pinned Tuxedos on road; Yet's stampeded by herd 190 yds while rushing for 38. A mismatch, Beast mode runs wild while Carr bombing of Jet's occurs. - LOCK
WAS +3 @ LAR - Post Eagle strafing, Skins hit road. Rams butted Un-Lucky Dolts, 0-10 3rd down, 3 TO's. Way up in that lofty 1st place perch alone? This week a real NFL team with a real QB shows up and we get points. - LOCK
DAL -1.5 @ DEN - Pokes penned GI-ants; Buncos squeaked past Bolts. Anderson and Charles will be checked by Dal-D; flying son of Buzzi will not be held down like the line, cheap, cheap, we hear the bird of happiness? Give the points.
SF @ SEA -13 - Squawks held to 3FG's in GB; SF held to 1 at home. Look for Seahags to return home and exercise their offensive muscle vs feeble Niners, another mismatch and blow out - LOCK
GB +3 @ ATL - GB held Squawks in check 40 min TOP; Dirty Birds escaped Bear hug, head to dome; rematch of NFC Champ; Mr. Rodgers revenge; take the points.
DET @ NYG -3 - GI-Ants poked in D on National TV; Kitties clawed Cards late; Book of Eli comes home; Kats leave dome sweet dome. Stafford highest paid player in 2017? Give the points as Gotham D kindly reminds him why he has only 3 winning seasons and no playoff wins.
As this was a reminder of the time involved, I do not believe I will do this every week. Despite the Week One anomaly, I am sure that by Tues, we will have been better off to have flipped a coin and Out.
Resources
Spread courtesy of VegasInsider, OddsShark, Covers, and the Westgate Advance Line here and here.
One can find the advance line for every week of the season, going back to Week 2, courtesy of John Morgan at PatsFan.
As we enjoy his commentary, humor and interesting observations, Walter Cherepinsky at NESN has weekly in depth analysis of each game.
Stats and ATS (Against The Spread) courtesy of the indispensable Pro Football Reference
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